Step into the Yoniverse
For years, Yoni has been trying to make this birthday happen.
Sima Kade - "The Tree of Life" - is one of those places people hear about but almost never get to go to. Hidden valleys, natural springs, open skies, and a setting so spectacular that the demand seems unending, making it notoriously difficult to get a booking. But, after years of trying, Yoni finally secured a date.
For one weekend, Sima Kade is ours.
In true Yoni fashion, expect to be fed and entertained. Music and food are two things the man holds dear, and you will be treated to the best of both. Out in the bush, there are no curfews, no neighbors, no noise complaints. Preparations have already begun.
Jolling aside, there will be saunas, swimming, hiking, fires, yoga, long chats under the stars, untold ridiculousness and much more. The venue itself is enough to make the weekend unforgettable - but sharing it together under these circumstances?? Come ooooon!
So come celebrate Yoni and come be part of a weekend we'll probably still be talking about years from now.
No, Yoni did not write this about himself. This website is a birthday present.
No Signal, No Problem
Mobile reception at Sima Kade is patchy at best. Save this guide to your phone before you head out — so every detail is in your pocket, offline and ready.
Tap above to print or save as PDF — works offline once saved
Everything you need to know to survive and thrive at Yoni Land.
The Layout
Sima Kade is a gorgeous private valley made up of separate, spread-out venues: Bush Camp, Kama Cabin, Venus Cabin, Luna Cabin, the Cave House, and Sky Terrace. Each one is its own tucked-away spot, and they're all a few minutes' walk from each other.
The Hub
Sky Terrace is where it's all going down. Music, food, and the main event are all centred here, around a covered kitchen and dining patio, a stone amphitheatre, the round Butterfly Hall, and a pool a terrace above. Wherever you're sleeping in the valley, this is where you come for everything that matters.
Catering
All of the meals below are catered for and included in the accommodation price for the weekend.
Friday
- Dinner Ready-made meals for everyone to settle in, eat, and relax after arriving.
Saturday
- Brunch A large communal stew served as a shared lunch for the group.
- Braai Braai food with sides for everyone to enjoy together in the evening.
- Posties toasties Soup and DIY toasted cheeses available later in the night for anyone still awake and needing something warm.
The Cold
August nights in the Magaliesburg can drop to around 4°C, so pack proper warm layers, a beanie and something for your hands. We'll have fires going at the boma every night to gather around, and most cabins have indoor wood-burner fireplaces too. The days are mild and sunny — usually around 22°C — so you'll want a swimming costume just as much as a jacket.
Getting Around & Shuttles
The road into the valley is unpaved and rough, so high-clearance vehicles only (4×4, SUV or mini-SUV). If you're arriving in something low, park at the gate at the bottom and a shuttle will run you and your bags up to your venue. Once you're in, getting between venues is on foot — paths are well-marked and lit at night, and most are 5–15 minutes from Sky Terrace. Wear shoes you can walk in and bring a torch for after dark.
What to Bring
Please bring:
- • Drinks
- • Party Favours
- • Snacks
- • Sunblock
- • Hat
- • Outdoor trail shoes
- • Water bottle
- • Swimming costume and towel
- • Cooler box
- • Ice
Power & WiFi
Solar-powered off-grid. No hair dryers, irons, heaters, microwaves, toasters, kettles - they will trip the inverter. WiFi exists but is not guaranteed. Cell reception is unreliable. You're in the bush - embrace it.
Bush & Camp Safety
Just a few practical things to keep in mind while we're there — it is a wilderness area, so snakes, scorpions, monkeys, thorns, and other wildlife are part of the environment.
- • Please wear proper shoes when walking around
- • Avoid lifting rocks or putting hands into hidden spaces
- • Don't feed or approach the animals
- • No diving in the pools
- • Please avoid climbing on rocks or steep areas
- • No drones without permission
- • No fireworks
Friday 28 Aug
Sunday 30 Aug
More to come
Full schedule dropping soon — stay tuned.
Coming soon
Download this map to help plan your accommodation and navigate the venue
